Where Is The Love?

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken — and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived. ~ Margaret Mitchell

Every love affair has it’s lifetime. This that as long as it has a start it has a finish.  Some relationships last to the end of partners lifetime, some die soon after they started.

Love may start as the strongest passion but time passes and the storm of emotions calms down, relationships once so bright and full of surprises become routine. It drags on for a while and than comes crisis. A couple can either survive through it or fall apart.

Even when the love is gone it’s always hard to realise that you have to quit something once so good. There’s no certain way to decrease the sad feelings about falling apart. You may only try to stay civilised people about it and to let the one who’s leaving do it without making up grandiose scandals and hysterics.

Although some think that it’s better to stay enemies than friends because than you will have nothing to regret about and won’t execute meaningless attempts to get things back. But is it so right to ruin all the memories about the happy time two people have spent together with ugly scenes screaming and blaming each other in the worst sins?

It’s over when it’s over and sometimes it’s obvious that all is over. Two people scream and shout one at the other almost everyday, they have nothing to talk about and if they do every conversation turns into a quarrel, one finds faults with everything the other does, they both simply annoy each other. That’s definitely the end.

The question is where the love’s gone. Nobody knows it. Maybe they’ve been spending too much time together and finally have started to bore each other. Maybe he has stopped telling her about his love and she has stopped feeling it. Maybe time has made the illusions disappear and the reality has turned to be not what they both expected. Maybe there was only passion and after it’s gone nothing has left. There can be plenty of those maybes. Every misfortune has it’s own face. It may even be that nothing is over but people need to take a little rest one from the other or try to diversify their relationships. In fact when each one of a couple is willing to fight to make love stay they’ll find the way to do it.

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. ~ Kahlil Gibran

The real tragedy is when one still feels the love but the other is bored and wants to leave. If the feeling is really gone no tricks will help to keep the partner, sooner or later he or she will finally leave and those few more weeks together won’t make you happier. The only thing you can really do in this case is to try to get over him/her as soon as possible. That misery will pass as the happiness did.

Sometimes (and it specially refers to women) a man looses his interest to a woman because she has given up her job, interests, friends and etc. in order to become the part of his life, to be everything he needs. He doesn’t have to conquer her no more, she has stopped being a personality with her own life that he had once fallen in love with. If fact this is one of the general mistakes people do. They get too comfortable and stop fighting for each others love. And than when a partner starts packing bags they wonder where did I go wrong.

But still in very many cases lost love isn’t anyone’s fault. It is just the way things go. We should never stop believing that next time the feeling will be real and will finally last to the very end. We have no limit of times that we can fall in love and so although it’s sad to loose love, each time we do we should try to look at it as on the chance to find a new better one.

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~ by Didi Ali on July 19, 2010.

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